the raging of frustration
when no words can give it boundaries
that fury that the endless effort never meets the
endless need
I orchestrate my martyrdom
supine for crucifiction
immobilized by anger I
can not afford to feel
because a mind I live for
does not see I would give anything
does not see betrayal senseless
does not know me for myself
frustration now is anger at the atrophy of sense
so this leather is a comfort in my masochistic punishment
but not enough
not spent enough
for her to trust I care
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